African Banking Experience

Yesterday was the first day I've been so irritated with life here and couldn't just brush it off as TIA (This is Africa). Part of my coping plan for our life here is built in expectations that things aren't going to go smoothly, quickly, or "fairly" when we're trying to get things accomplished. Then, when things go better than expected, great -- what a blessing. And if they don't, well that's the "norm" and expectation and nothing to get easily irritated about (which is why I have a plan because I am an easily irritated person when I live by my flesh). Things that people here take in stride can really get to me because I have another "way" of life to compare it to and while my goal is to avoid comparing life here with my "norm.", yesterday was a difficult day for that. I need to say up front that if you don't know me and you're reading this, then please don't make a judgment on this post. Please don't tell me to "just go home if you don't like life there or if you think you know better as a newcomer." It's nothing like that at all. We know we're supposed to be here so even when things like this happen, we can continue on knowing that in order for us to do what God has called us to do here, we have to live and operate daily life here. I hope that's enough of a disclaimer that the purpose of this post is to share about an aspect of our life here and not to be judgmental about C*meroonians or this bank we went to which will remain anonymous.

This week is a very, very busy one for Dan (which affects the whole family of course). He preaches and teaches Sunday School on Sunday. He loses study time on Thursday because we're celebrating Thanksgiving with missionary friends starting at 1:00 -- which we are very excited about. Thursday morning, he has two meetings with people who have questions for him. Friday and Saturday are when he meets one on one with five men in a discipleship program. And on top of that, we've had several Divine interruptions this week already which always shift the things that were planned to be put into another spot.

A new thing that we've started is to talk each Sunday night after the girls are in bed about what we already know will be a part of our upcoming week. We realize that Divine interruptions are constantly something that can change each day especially out here it seems, but this way, Dan knows if I need to get groceries that week or if I would like him to watch the girls while I go to a missionary Bible study or whatever. And I can get a general idea of how his week looks. Tuesday is Dan's "day off." He's been trying to do better about taking that day because we both realize how important it is, but this week, it just wasn't going to happen. He would have the "morning off" to run errands, and then his plan was to spend the afternoon and evening in uninterrupted study (phone off, email closed, door shut).

Tuesday's "morning off" plan was a trip to town -- to complete a bank transaction (bank to bank transfer within the same branch -- seemingly very simple as we knew our account number and their account number), get groceries, go to the vegetable/fruit market, go to the hardware store, go by a lab, and then if we had time go to a new store that has opened and imports American products to sell. Maybe we'd even stop for lunch before we came home.

We left yesterday morning in good spirits. The traffic was crazy, but that is an expectation so it didn't get us frazzled. The main priority of the morning was getting this transfer done. We had contacted this institution about making a payment, and they said the easiest way was to do a bank to bank transfer. They gave us the name of their bank and all the information we needed -- this seemed to be a very normal transaction for them so we were just wanting to get this taken care of.

We had already been to this bank two times before yesterday. The first time to get information about making this transfer and being told that we needed to open an account to do it. We could understand that and got the information about doing that. The second time was to open the account, and that visit should've clued us in to what we were getting into but we were giving them the benefit of the doubt that there was quite a bit of paperwork they wanted us to fill out and well... once that was set up, the transfer should just be a simple writing down of two numbers and having them make the transaction. I think we were there for 2 1/2 hours to get our account opened, and we were told that we couldn't do the bank to bank transfer until our account was in their computers. We could understand that, and we didn't want the transfer to "get lost" and cause issues that would have to be resolved with more waiting so no problem.

So, one week later (yesterday) we stop at the bank closest to our house. We're at this first bank for about 40 minutes and Dan's filling out paperwork and I can hear him talking and asking questions and all. He gets up after I felt like I had entertained Krista as long as I could to keep her quiet, and I'm thinking that we can continue on to groceries, going to the lab, and the other things on the list. Oh no -- he tells me when we get in the car that he had just figured out the lady had no clue how to do the transfer and was just having him fill stuff out and telling him he had the wrong length of account number and whatever else she can think of in order to s*ve f*ce. We have seen "s*ving f*ce" in this culture so many times, and we don't claim to understand it at all even after talking with some of the people in the church about it. It's a very interesting aspect of the culture to us, but yesterday, we were hoping for boring if you know what I mean.

Now before someone thinks that we're judging this lady unfairly, Dan's observations were confirmed at the second bank where they told us that only two branches know how to do this transaction (this second bank supposedly being one). So, this first branch we were at has not been trained in this transaction, but instead of saying so, the lady sat Dan down and had him fill out paperwork and answered his questions (with answers that did not make sense at all so that's what got Dan clued in a little). She was then saying that the other bank's account number was the wrong length which seemed very strange because this institution that we were transferring to had given us their info that others had used and it had worked. For 40 minutes, she sat there working with Dan and then she came up with the trump card that got her out of the situation -- she told Dan that she couldn't go farther in the process without his passport. That was when Dan knew for sure what she was saying without saying it -- he hadn't even needed a passport to open the account so why would he need it now? That was definitely not a true statement (which was confirmed at the next bank where we didn't need the passport). So, Dan did the appropriate thing and left under the guise that he didn't have all that he needed, and she s*ved f*ce that she didn't know how to do this transaction.

It's so interesting because in the American culture, we would rather you tell us first thing that your branch isn't trained to do this and then give us the branches that are trained to do it. Then, we haven't wasted 40 minutes and are still at square one. Dan and I just can't understand the concept of "s*ving f*ce" because just because something isn't said or acknowledged openly -- I mean Dan knew what she was doing but because it wasn't admitted, that makes it better? I guess that's another difference. We would see that as not valuing the customer where we're sure that wasn't the intention at all -- she wasn't trying to be difficult or make things harder for us... that's just what happened as a result of her need. At any rate, we decided to go to the bank that had opened our account. We were discouraged hoping to have been done by this point, but not overwhelmed. It is oh so normal for things to not happen in steps 1,2, and 3 so coping strategy comes in again.

We get to the second bank where we were for almost three hours. I'll let you guess if we left with mission accomplished. The first lady Dan talks to at the second bank doesn't have a problem with the length of the account number and seemed to know more what she was doing -- good sign! So after who knows maybe our first hour there, she sends Dan to a second line with the paperwork that she had written up for that cashier to make the transaction. It took an hour to get to that point because she's helping other people at the same time as us. Two or three people are sitting in front of her desk constantly everyone telling her their banking needs of the day right in front of the others and she does a little here and a little there. (That had been the same experience as when we opened the account which is why it took so long to open it so that didn't surprise us this time. And the lack of privacy didn't bother anyone else so we didn't let it bother us. It was so interesting because we kept having to watch other people to know what to do. Like there are acceptable times of "cutting" -- we didn't get all that but it seemed there was some method to it all). Dan goes through the transaction line which had maybe 15 people in it who 2 people were very slowly helping -- meanwhile, no one around us seems in a hurry so we tried to "fit in" (too bad Krista wasn't convinced). I don't know how long this second line took, but when we got there the cashier said we needed to get a check and was mumbling other stuff -- he was having to give us news that he knew we weren't going to want to hear so he must have thought that mumbling would soften the blow -- except that we can't understand French mumbling yet so it frustrated us more -- we needed to know what needed to be done. Dan said that this is a just a bank to bank transfer -- the same branch -- account to account -- we shouldn't need a check. The cashier said that we needed a check and to go back to the first place we had been.

We realized then that bank to bank transfer here means something completely different than what we have done many times in the States. Ah... the learning curve. The building might have been modern, they had a modern computer system, they had air conditioning, the employees were dressed very professionally like in the States, they had forms and they gave out receipts which were professional looking, but the workings and processes are so, so different.

We now realized that the first person at this second bank who Dan had spent an hour with didn't know what she was doing either -- she obviously knew a little more as her bank was one that had been trained in this process... but once again... instead of asking the cashier who would make the transaction how she should do the "setup" work, she just did it her way pretending to know what she was doing. Which the whole two step thing is another interesting thing. The first person fills out the forms (that we ourselves fill out in the States) and gets you set up for the cashier who actually does the transaction. You get to wait twice instead of once. And apparently, the cashier can't change the paperwork or get the check that he needs -- only the person at the desk does that.

We go back to the first lady and the man who had come to work alongside her and explained that the cashier couldn't process the paperwork. They say they will take care of it -- um how? We didn't ask that out loud, but we're saying to each other -- how could they? Obviously, she didn't know how to do it correctly so what was going to change this time and the other guy who was sitting with her now had seen what she was doing and not corrected her so he must not know... But it's always the positive answer that you receive so while they seemed to make it sound like "un instant" (just a minute) and you'll be on your way, we realized that we had no more time to give to this process. We decided to close our account and get our money back and then we would be back at square one and contact the institution again and figure out something else out. (Can I just say how much I miss credit card transactions? :-)

Closing our account became the new drama. We were sent to a third guy who was helping two other people and was rather sidetracked as we were explaining we wanted the account closed and our money back. He tried to talk us out of it in so many different ways and refused to understand why we wouldn't be thrilled to be a part of this bank. Dan told him that we had only opened the account to do this bank to bank transfer which we were told that we could do very easily. And this was day 3 of being at one of their banks and we had been there for 2 1/2 hours today and 40 minutes at another bank and we just kept getting sent in circles. Would you believe he still didn't understand why we wanted to close the account? Well, at least he pretended not to -- that one was hard to read so I'm not sure which it was. Another cultural difference -- no "I understand your frustration" at all for the customer. No catering to the customer for sure.

We remained firm as we were not coming back another day to close the account and we were not paying the $4.25 monthly fees to have it open. The money was a factor because we desire to live frugally as people so generously give to us so that we can be here, but more than the money was the time factor because of the week we were in the middle of.

When this gentleman at the third station realized that we were not going to change our minds, he said that it would cost (the American equivalent of $40) to close the account (it had been opened a week and we had done zero transactions). Huh? We looked through our terms and conditions and there was nothing in there about that nor had that been mentioned when we opened the account. We asked him why that wasn't in the terms and conditions, and he said he didn't know but that was bank policy. Hmmm... We have been here long enough to know not to fight something like this. We're the foreigner and not fluent in their language and even if we had made our case and tried to see "the manager" (American mindset), it just would've taken more time (another 3 hours?) and more than likely have gone nowhere. The person who can make the rules is the one who has the power -- and they had the power because they had our money in their account. If we refused to pay their penalty, then they would keep our money and we needed to pay this institution and it wasn't going to happen here so that was just going to be the way it was.

Dan mentioned one more time that he didn't understand the penalty -- it wasn't in the terms and conditions and besides the reason we were closing it was because they weren't able to perform the service they told us they could and we had said up front that was the only reason we were opening the account. The man asked him if he still wanted to close the account and Dan said yes. The man then says that we have to write a letter requesting this. What in the world? But we're not quitting getting this closed now! Dan starts writing the letter and all of a sudden that wasn't necessary. Maybe it was just a test to see if we were really going through with this -- he certainly was trying everything he could think of to get us to not close the account. I'm not sure, but the next thing we know, he tells Dan not to worry about the letter but to instead fill out this form.

Half an hour later, Dan is in his last and final line where he stood for another 15 minutes. A couple of people came and cut in front of him which we never figured out why they did but others got in line behind him but we weren't going to wait around looking for a pattern.

We finally walked out of the door after being at two banks that day for a total of 3 1/2 hours and losing $40 and they weren't able to provide the service that they had told us they could in the first place. And this was the 3rd day of this time losing adventure. Back to square one with paying the institution ... and worst of all, by this time, we were already supposed to have been home for Dan to start his afternoon and evening of study.

I told Dan that I would make do without groceries that week because I knew he needed his time to study. We did have to run by the lab because poor Kayla -- we're still trying to figure out whether we need to be treating amoebas, parasites, bacteria, or what from this diarrhea she has from drinking the water at her school. Poor thing! And we picked up lunch from the bakery to take with us to eat so we could be on the go as soon as we got home.

Divine interruptions? I tried to think on that several times this morning as that's a better perspective than frustrations. God did help us to hold it together as it wasn't a silent ride home or anything where we were taking our frustrations out on each other (you know how that happens sometimes -- surely it's not just us). I didn't pass the test with an A plus -- I remember one thing I retorted back to Dan that wasn't edifying -- but praise the Lord that He helped me curb my tongue and emotions. He helped me not fail this test. Ah... the realities of ministry! It's a whole life not just the spiritual times as we gotta' live in the day by day stuff and that's what really shows who we are.

And I should close by saying that the reason the morning was so frustrating was because we are still adjusting to culture, life, and pace of life -- and we do realize that that's our responsibility since we're the foreigners. We have noticed that when our days aren't so demanding and full, then we can just look at each other and say "TIA" (This is Africa) and go on with what has come our way. It's not such a good idea to try to bring the American pace of life to this culture which we realize completely, but sometimes it seems that there are just weeks like this one where even simplifying makes it crazy busy. God's mercies are new every morning -- and it's easier to process all this today. We truly are thankful to be here.

It's A Boy

I have never been intuitive to guess the gender of my children. With the girls, I had no clue, and it's always been a mystery to me when moms have said they just knew it was a boy or a girl. If I had to guess this time before we went to the ultrasound, I would've guessed a girl because the all day sickness, the weight gain/distribution, and really everything about the pregnancy has been the same so far as with the girls.

It seemed the ultrasound tech barely had the baby's image up on the screen when she announced, "C'est un petit garçon." (It's a little boy). It took us by surprise because she announced it so quickly (in the States, that was the last thing they told us with the girls after all the important stuff was done) and also because of the pregnancy being so the same as with the girls. I was still getting settled and comfortable, and I hadn't even looked at the screen yet when my mind registered the French words, "C'est un petit garçon." "Ah bon? C'est vrai?" (Really? It's true?) She laughed a little I think trying to figure out if I was excited or disappointed so I quickly assured her of our excitement in finding out the gender and surprise in it being a boy (and that we would've been excited either way). Wow! The tech said there was no doubt about it being a boy which was great reassurance that she didn't even know I needed. I just love getting my surprise of what the baby is halfway through the pregnancy! Thank You, Lord, for this added measure of bonding.

Only Kayla had a preference about the gender. She wanted a little brother this time since she already has a little sister. We had been preparing her for the baby to be another sister with truths like "God chooses best", etc. so that she would be excited no matter what, but she was thrilled to hear our baby is a little brother, and she said, "God listened to us." Apparently, she had talked to God about it.

The baby appears to be healthy which we are very thankful for, and the ultrasound tech said that the baby's measurements show that he is a week ahead of the March 26 due date. We chose to interpret that as there is a possibility he could arrive early rather than the possibility of him being a big baby although we know that a week difference in dates is so close that it doesn't mean anything really. :-)

Oh my goodness... I don't know anything about little boys! But I'm excited to find out! Believe me, it's not like I've mastered the parenting of little girls. That was loudly confirmed today when I had quite the go around with Krista. Of course, as I have been told twice this week, there is a cultural explanation for Krista's undesirable behavior. To give you a clue, it has to do with the title of this post, but I'll have to include that story in another post.

If you can't pull up the video below, please let me know. And I will ask Dan. :-)

The Big Reveal from Dan Seely on Vimeo.

Health Update

Where has the last week gone? And can it really be Thanksgiving in another week?!?

I am so thankful that the whole family seems to be on the road to recovery.

Krista's fever broke after the second day of antibiotics so it seems that she had something more than the flu that needed antibiotics. Fever controlled Krista was miserable, and it is so good to have our Krista back. She's still working on getting rid of the chest congestion/cough, but it doesn't seem to bother her much except for waking up in the night asking for drinks.

Dan is eating again and able to be up and doing something for more than an hour! I was trying to talk myself out of being nervous about his health over the last several weeks, but we just didn't know what else to do after all the tests he had run came back showing nothing. He still isn't back to 100%, but what a relief to see him regaining strength! His cough is considerably less than it was -- praise the Lord. We didn't know what the Lord was doing in His timing of answering the many prayers for his health, but we are very thankful that he has been able to jump back into ministry this week especially as specific needs have come up.

Kayla never did get the fever, but her cough doesn't seem to be going away... She finished the bottle of Robitussin we brought from the States, and she and Krista went through a bottle of cough medicine we got here. But other than the coughing, she seems to feel fine so we're just waiting it out.

Just as everyone was starting to sleep better at night (which meant I was going to start getting more sleep), Kayla started getting up in the night with diarrhea and tummy issues. After some random discussion about us looking for a bigger water bottle for her to take to school because it's so hot and she needs to be drinking more, she says, "Oh, no, it's okay. There is water at our school that we can get when we run out of water that we bring." Horrified mom moment! Because it's been hotter, she has been wanting more water and has just recently started drinking the school's unfiltered water. I told her that's why her tummy hurt and why she had diarrhea and that she could only drink the water we sent with her. "But the other kids drink it." Yes... and that was a whole other discussion that I'm sure is hard for her to understand. So I started her on an antibiotic that I already had for bacterial infections. If that doesn't do the trick, we'll have to go to the doctor to get an antibiotic specifically for amoebas. At least we know the source of Kayla's stomach issues...bless her heart!

We have been bonding with the people in our church throughout all this. Sickness is everywhere, and despite the status many in our church see us as having, the sickness does not respect that status! And being able to go to good doctors and getting medicine right away does not ensure immediate recovery or health. I think that's been good for our church people to see (sorry Dan and Krista who were especially miserable but gave us this way to bond a little more). So, we can share our stories of sickness with everyone else and ask for prayer and praise the Lord for recovery. We were able to share how God didn't answer our prayers as quickly as we had wanted which was good for them to hear too, but that God is still good. Even now, we are still waiting on His timing for full recovery, and we are learning lessons that He has shown us through this time of absolute weakness (like we're ever really strong but sometimes we feel pretty strong when we lose focus).

Supposedly, the dry season is almost here and with that, a lot of this stuff going around will go away. I sure hope so!

The Lord gave me special grace last Saturday as Krista's fever had just broken but she and Dan were still weak and not feeling great yet. A girl from the church shows up at the gate to visit. As she's entering the yard, I ask her the usual "how's it going". She answers that she's only doing well a little so I ask her why. She says that she has a fever and malaria. My first thought -- I can't let fever back in this house, but that would've been so offensive. So as she came in and I saw her go straight for Krista, the Lord gave me special grace to let it go (and hope that the fever was only because of the malaria which isn't contagious rather than from something else that we might pick up).

Even last night at Bible study, there was a lady who I knew had quite a fever as soon as I touched her arm. I knew her son had been pretty sick, and he was there even though she said he was only a little better. She said her daughter who was also there was sick now too. No concept of staying home until one has been fever free for 24 hours -- although when you live in one room, it's a different world anyway. I trust God to keep me healthy in these situations, but I admit I had a line as well that got crossed in that trust last night. The one year old daughter tottered over to me so I picked her up and held her as the mom looked like she needed a break and besides I didn't want to be offensive. But when I was writing prayer requests and she came over to grab my pen after her hands had just been in her mouth -- well, I didn't share. I held it away from her in between writing down the requests -- not in an obvious way of course! Oh my! Not sure where the line of trust in God and common sense comes in. I can see where I could've gone farther either way.

As far as my health, God has kept me going except for that quick round of fever and horrible aches. -- I'm just tired which at times has made me feel like I'm not feeling well but then after I sleep, I feel better so it's not sickness! Praise the Lord. Tiredness is a normal part of pregnancy and even life in general all too often.

To all those who have been praying, thank you so much! Especially for those who prayed for Dan's symptoms with no diagnosis -- even more than the cough which was so horrible, the weight loss was starting to really bother us but maybe he'll put some back on at Thanksgiving. Thank you for your notes of encouragement and love.

I have a video to put up of us telling Kayla the gender of our baby, but I haven't figured out how to do it yet. I used to know how but uh.... pregnant brain?!? Actually, I would guess most of you have seen it on Facebook. My sister-in-law LvW is probably the only one besides me who's not on Facebook. :-) I know her family will want to see it since the cousins are in it so I'll try to get it up soon even though they already know the gender. Last Friday morning -- Krista had been fever free for 20 hours and so we in faith that it would stretch to 24 hours cheated and headed for the lab to get the ultrasound. What a fun morning that was; it was completely worth it taking all of our energy for the day. :-).

Time For Childbirth Research

Yes, this is child #3; and yes, I read a lot when I was pregnant with Kayla, but that was over four years ago. The only thing I really remember from my research then was that I wanted to be informed as the opinions are strong on this issue so I read about Lamaze, the Bradley method, epidurals, midwives, and on and on the list goes. I wanted a midwife at a hospital, but other than that, I was just going to play it by ear. I didn't end up with any "convictions" (bad word but I think you know what I mean); my birth plan was preferences. My midwife ended up sending me in for an induction for the "health of the baby" (although it turned out to be nothing and an induction was not part of my birth plan), and the Pitocin was wicked after they broke my water and there was no cushion for those contractions. Because I had a neutral opinion about epidurals after all my reading and talking with people, I soon found myself asking for one.

For Krista's birth, I admit I didn't do any reading or even mental preparation. The plan was to go the epidural route as it had been an absolute wonderful labor, delivery, and recovery experience for me. And again, the birthing experience was fabulous -- even better this time because the push time was so short even while being pain free.

So here I am -- child #3 and if I were in the States would be going the epidural route again, but I'm not in the States. So, it's time to prepare for a very natural occurrence that I have never experienced that way before -- birth. I have been reading online and seem to be leaning towards the Bradley method. But, I was wondering what your experiences have been. Did you use the Bradley method? Would you use it again? Did you use another method? What books were the most helpful for you? (I got several from the library, but I never bought any so I don't even remember what I read when I was pregnant with Kayla -- isn't that crazy? I so feel like a first time mom.)

I just want to say that all of you no matter where you fall on the topic of childbirth have been a blessing to me with your comments. Those of you who are excited for me to experience birth without intervention -- I have loved your comments. Those of you who have done it both ways and prefer the natural way -- definitely encouraging. Those of you who have done it both ways and prefer the epidural route -- not at all discouraging because these comments connect to me in a different way because I feel like I'm one of you as I really loved my epidurals (in case I had never mentioned that before).

There is a lady here who had three children in the States with epidurals and then had her fourth child here. I asked her how it was. Her face was hilarious. It was so obvious the experience hadn't been good especially compared to the ease of an epidural and a Stateside birthing experiencing but it was also obvious that she didn't want to just say it bluntly like that to me -- a pregnant woman who was in a similar situation that she had been in. I started laughing and told her that she could be up front with me and that she had actually encouraged me in a way that validated me in the scenario that I end up like her and preferring the epidural. I talked to another lady here who has had both of her children here so she can't compare it to a birthing experience in the States or one with an epidural, but she said that she had a good experience here overall -- she used the Bradley method. I talked to another lady whose only child was born here, and she had a good experience as well. Ahhh... it's very interesting how different experiences "speak" to me in helpful ways.

I find myself joking a lot on myself about all the unknowns and being a wimp and all -- I think it's my way of coping -- staying lighthearted about it. Anyway, time to get serious and do some reading, mental preparing, planning, and of course lots of praying. Your input on the Bradley method or other methods would be very much appreciated no matter where you fall on these issues. Yes, I do realize childbirth is a very natural thing of life, and people do it all the time here without ever having read a book or an internet article. Life is so interesting, isn't it?

The Africans would probably think I'm crazy for putting so much thought into such a natural event of life. I try not to talk too much about this topic with them and have only ever talked about epidurals with one African lady who the conversation was "right" for it. I'm just playing it "cool" like they do. :-) That's the good part about there being no other option -- you just do it, the way God set it up to happen, just like your mama and grandma did it. I was talking to one young girl about how breastfeeding was going. Fine she said. I asked her if she had someone she could talk to if she needed any help, and she looked at me very blankly. You know -- the different holding positions and is the baby's mouth just right and what about the angles? :-) No breast pumps, shields, creams, ice packs,etc for when their milk comes in, and she had no problems. I wonder what they would think if they knew that you could make a living as a lactation consultant in the States and that there are whole lines of breastfeeding "aids" -- they would probably think I was joking.

Doctor Visit For Krista -- All in French

I won't turn this blog into a journal of our sickness, but hang in with me for one more post because I want to remember yesterday -- because of the French experience. It was faaaaar from fluency, but I didn't once get overwhelmed to where I couldn't make myself understood. Being able to communicate even if it takes five times the amount of words because you have to explain things like what Tylenol and Advil are (medicines that temporarily help fever and pain but aren't remedies a sickness) instead of just saying Tylenol and Advil and the doctor knowing what the medicine was intended to do. They have fever reducer/pain relievers out here (not acetaminophen or ibuprofen), but I couldn't remember the name of it. When I gave my explanation, he understood and said the "equivalent" in French and I said yes! Communication is a good feeling and encouraging as I continue on the long road ahead.

Yesterday, about two hours after I posted on here, I realized Krista's fever was not in the 100.0-100.9 range like it had been for the last day or so (it's all getting to be a blur now). The only encouraging thing about her five day fever was that the last two days hadn't been in the 103 plus range so when I saw the fever misery in her eyes again and took her temp and it was back up to in the 102s, I could've cried. So, I decided to take her to the clinic -- someone to share the burden of her not feeling well instead of us making the calls which is a heavy responsibility when you're not trained in medicine. :-)

Like I've mentioned before, we go to the clinic sponsored by the French (France) embassy. I have always gotten along fine in English there as medical issues are not good times to practice French. I at first was going to go myself, but I'm still nervous about driving around here. Dan was feeling a little stronger yesterday so he said he would come with me (I am so bad with knowing roads and there's no street names and when you ask someone for directions, they give them to you whether they have a clue or not which is really confusing if you follow them and are more lost and that's if I can even understand what they're saying. :-) So, Dan drove us; and he and Kayla stayed in the car -- better to stay away from the germs inside the clinic if you know what I mean.

I walk in and talk to the receptionist in English and wait for the doctor. A doctor I've never seen before comes in, and that kinda' threw me for a loop. He greeted me in French so I greeted him back, and then I asked him if he spoke English. But, silly me -- I addressed him in the informal you rather than the formal you. I hardly ever use the formal you in the setting we're in here with out church, and because we haven't been in language school where they often use the formal you in the classroom, it's not what's on the tip of our tongues. My automatic thought when addressing someone is in the informal. But for a doctor (status) and someone older than me plus someone I don't know -- definitely should've been an automatic to use the formal you. I felt horrible for the lack of respect, but he didn't seem to notice as he told me regrettably that he didn't speak English and that was what was on his mind. Seriously, folks -- why does a language need more than one "you"? :-)

I thought about going to get Dan because this is not a topic I want to be guessing on, but the doctor started asking about Krista's symptoms, and I was understanding his questions. And he was understanding my answers -- the next thing I know, he was leaving to go to write a RX. We laughed a few times about my round about descriptions to get to understanding, and we laughed that I wasn't sure how high her fever had been in celsius, and he didn't know farenheit. At one point, I was explaining that her fever does respond to alternating Tylenol and Advil. In addition to explaining what Tylenol and Advil are like I mentioned before, I found myself searching for the words "go up" and "go down." I didn't know if you could literally say "fever responds to medicine" or if that would cause confusion in French so I wanted to say that when I give medicine, the fever goes down. After four hours, the fever goes up. But, I was translating from English in my head as I was talking, and my mind blanked at the word I should use for "go up" and the word I should use for "go down." So, I said to him, "When I give her the medicine, the fever..." (and I pointed down). After four hours or so, the fever..." (and I pointed up). See -- I wasn't just being humble about it not being fluent usage of French. It was rough, but it worked well and he didn't mind a bit. Of course, as soon as he left, I remembered that I could have used the words "climbed" and "fell" and I have used those so many times that they should've been "there", but they didn't come to mind because I was thinking too literally and searching for actual words for "go up" and "go down." One of these days... but for now, I'll just be thankful for progress since a year ago!

The best part of the appointment was that despite my difficulties in explaining concisely what I wanted him to know about her sickness, I understand almost all of what he said which definitely does not always happen in French. I'm sure he slowed down for me since I told him at the beginning that I spoke "a little French" which was very nice of him. But, I have been a little discouraged about not doing any French study since our co-workers left in June although I'm giving myself slack since life has been a little crazy and I will continue again one day... it was encouraging that my comprehension is improving little by little just by living here.

I had wondered if we should get Krista tested for malaria just to rule that out as something hidden within the flu symptoms and being the cause of the continued fever, but she fights them just taking her temperature as she has memories about blood draws so getting her blood drawn is not an easy experience (and who can blame her!) The doctor said that because she's taking an anti-malarial and because her symptoms are so classic flu that he didn't think we need to do the malaria test. I completely agreed, but I didn't want to be the one making the final decision on that one.

The doctor said that her case sounded like classic flu which antibiotics don't do anything for, but since her fever had been so long lasting, he said he would give me what antibiotic he recommended if it hadn't broken by day 6 of the fever. I was glad he wasn't just passing out antibiotics, and told him that day 6 was acutally tomorrow as I had been trying to wait it out too. He said to keep giving her fever reducers through the night and if she had a fever in the morning to start an antibiotic because maybe there was something more than just the flu and it was worth trying. I completely agreed.

I went and paid for the visit and even got the detailed billing I needed for insurance in the States. I always have Dan do that as the check out guy doesn't speak English, but he gave me the right thing so another "successful" interaction.

Krista's fever was 102.5 this morning so I went to the pharmacy and got the antibiotic. I asked the lady there if the instructions inside were in English too. She said they were, but they weren't. So, Dan and I read through the insert in French and figured out how much water to add (it was a suspension but they don't add the water at the pharmacy here -- this is the second time we've had to "mix" our own) and then the right dosage based on her weight. That is a little nerve wracking because that's not something to mess up on, but Dan broke the "code" and I double checked his understanding to make sure.

So now we wait. I wouldn't have started her on the antibiotic on my own even though we can out here as we can get whatever RXs we want without prescription, but since the doctor said he thought we should go that route, I'm glad. It really did seem to be the virus that's going around, but who knows... not me and the long-lasting and high fever is a lot for a little girl! Dan had already been on an antibiotic that he was finishing up when his fever came so we don't know if his fever breaking had anything to do with the antibiotic or not.

We ended up going out to eat while we were in town as it was 5:00. I think Krista ate more last night than she had eaten for 3 days -- and what was the choice food? It wasn't McDonalds! It wasn't Wendy's! It was ndole, fried plantains, rice, and chicken! We laughed at that being our little "African's" comfort food. :-)

No Ultrasound Yet / Flu Season Is Here Too

So...when Dan started up a fever last Wednesday to go along with the horrible cough he's had for a month now, I accepted it in my mind that we wouldn't be going for the ultrasound on Friday. I have surprised myself at my patience in the whole thing, but it might just be the tiredness that is messing with my mind.

Both in the missionary community and in our church (African community), there has been a lot of stuff going around. The main thing I've heard from the missionary community is about a fever around the 102 mark but doesn't last more than a day usually and then a cough that hangs on. And then there are other symptoms that vary. In the African community, I've been hearing so much about the cough and also head cold/congestion and other symptoms that vary. They say it's because of the cold at night (after being so hot in the day) or they say it's the season changing or for us, they say it's the climate we're not used to. The bottom line is that there is just a lot going around that a person could catch. H1N1 isn't talked about here, and it's funny how often we are asked about that by Americans who hear of our symptoms but no African has ever mentioned it to us. I wonder if any of them have even heard of the swine flu.

Back to Wednesday, Dan gets the high fever but also stomach issues, racing heart, skipped heartbeats, horrible body aches, and the existing cough worsened. He went to the doctor on Thursday because of the heart stuff, and we're glad he did even though the doctor said it was most likely a bad bout of the flu and the heart stuff and lightheadedness when on his feet was probably from the fever. Better safe than sorry when it comes to important things like one's heart! The doctor wrote him a note saying he couldn't go to work for five days -- that was pretty funny considering his "occupation." Dan was supposed to have preached on Sunday and taught Sunday School, but even without the note, he wouldn't have been doing that. He had no strength or appetite from the cough... and has lost (hopefully temporarily) five more pounds this week. Dan hardly ever throws up, but the cough was sending him that way too.

Late Thursday night after we were all sleeping, Krista woke up asking for a drink and crying. I go in, and she's burning up with fever. Poor thing! Dan had been sleeping on the couch so he could prop himself up, and he hoped I would sleep better without all his tossing, turning, and coughing. So I put Krista in bed with me so that I didn't have to get up with her when she woke up miserable. I knew I would already be rocking and cuddling with her so sleeping with her isn't much more exposure. I was so thankful that as soon as she realized I was there with her, she settled right back to sleep each time! We did this sleeping arrangement for three nights when she would wake up in the middle of the night, and it worked well for me to get as much sleep as possible.

Friday was a long, long day. Krista's fever was 103.5 under the arm before adding a degree -- she was so, so hot, but I was so thankful that it would dip after Advil and Tylenol and baths. Dan and Krista were miserable, and I was exhausted. I started getting what I thought maybe were "sympathy" pains for them. I was refusing to get sick so it couldn't be real body aches. Who was going to keep things going if I went down too? Hmmm... That night, I put the girls in bed, and then decided to confirm what I was already feeling -- I had started a fever. Sure enough.

God was so gracious to me, though, in that my symptoms were a small fraction of what Dan and Krista still have. I would feel badly for that, but because of the pregnancy, I am even more thankful my case was so light. The worst of my misery was after the girls were in bed on Friday and ended before they got up on Saturday so the timing was the best it could've been. My fever broke after only 8 hours so I started to get my strength after not too long. Can I just say how thankful I am that my "morning" sickness was over before all this came?

Dan has finally been fever free for 24 hours now. His fever lasted five days, but his cough is still just as miserable as ever. Patience, patience, patience even as we've been praying and know others have too for good health to return quickly. His appetite is still not back to normal. Krista is on day five of her fever, but every day it has lessened. She also is eating about half the food I give her even after serving her only half of what I usually serve her. She has the cough (not as bad as Dan's but miserable enough for a 2 year old who gets scared in the night when she feels like she can't breathe well). I am really hoping her fever breaks today like Dan's did after five days. Kayla has the cough. She got it around the time Dan did --about a month ago, but she didn't get any of the recent flu symptoms so we're very glad for that.

I was reading a short biography on David Brainerd when I got sick with what Dan and Krista have. What an impact he had for eternity, but he only lived 29 years, was only saved for 8 of them, had a very difficult childhood, was sick almost his whole adult life (maybe even his whole life -- I can't remember), suffered from great depression at times, and God never made his life easier. We know the power of prayer... Reading some of his journal which he wrote never expecting to be published so it's very transparent shows his intimate relationship with God through the ups and downs. I would guess he prayed for relief of his poor health...it seems the natural thing to do, but no answer with a "yes." Also, there were people in his life too like Jonathan Edwards who I would guess prayed for him too; yet, in God's perfect plan, he was never given any physical relief. My thoughts went so many ways as I thought on this...next time I'm singing "I Surrender All", I'm going to be wondering if I've really surrendered my good health and my family's good health if that's what God chooses at some point -- that is worlds harder than surrendering to be a missionary in Africa. What we have dealt with recently is absolutely nothing compared to David Brainerd and his tuberculosis that deranged (so funny -- I chose that word because that's the root of the word I would choose in French) him for years. And while we're thinking about how much ministry this is keeping us from -- I can only imagine the ministry his health kept him from not to mention his "early" death. Yet, that's not what it's all about with God -- not about our strength getting things done for Him. David Brainerd is an example of God working through weakness as well as an example of one who continued to serve the Lord despite the difficulties he had been given. I think I remember reading that he had opportunities to continue serving the Lord in ways that would have been easier on his health than being a missionary to the Indians, but he never felt released from the Lord's leading to that ministry despite the added aggravation to his health and lack of comforts even for a healthy person. If you have time, you really should read this -- I think it will be a blessing to you. It was to me. What great timing to be be reading about David Brainerd and be reminded of his life. It was good to think on this at a time where things aren't great but aren't as difficult as they have been for others and could possibly be for us some day. Do I sound morbid and negative? I think it's more along the lines of getting my theology set in my mind before something "big" happens that (hopefully) will never happen. And yes, I do know that God does give healing and good gifts to His children in small and big ways. I haven't forgotten about the "other side of all this." I'm not adding any clarification here. I'm going to stop. :-)

So... that's where we've been in my blogging absence. Not sure what the rest of the week will bring so I'm not counting on being able to get the ultrasound this week. But hopefully next week. We'll let you know. And thanks to all of you who have let us know you're praying for our health. God may not be answering with a quick healing for Dan and Krista and even Kayla's long lasting cough for that matter, but He has sustained us for sure so that's how he is answering your prayers right now. And I have to thank Him again for my symptoms being so light and short -- I am feeling movement these days but not regularly like I will later and like I was really wanting when I had the fever. It is such a wonderful confirmation feeling those movements.

A friend here shared this verse with me on Saturday, and I liked it even though I haven't checked out its context...definitely need to do that before I share this with someone else who is sick or whose family is sick. Here it is: 3 John 2 "Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers." Ahhh... prosperity and health... I won't even go there!

Krista's 2nd Birthday Party

Like birthday #1, birthday #2 was in Cameroon; and 14 of the first 24 months of Krista's life have been spent in Cameroon. Our little African-American?

Oops...there are no pictures of Krista before the party.... so here's a few of Kayla. She was my big helper in the kitchen during Krista's nap, and Dan got a few pictures of us then but none after Krista got up from her nap when the cleaning and decorating was going on. And for that matter, we got none of the decorations themselves that Kayla picked out and Daddy helped the girls put up. Kayla was so cute pulling all of the mis-matched decorations from different past parties out of the bag and lining them up on the couch and then choosing what she liked best. I made a few suggestions, but I noticed that my suggestions were not taken and she's past the age of being able to change them afterwards without her realizing it. I tried -- especially with the party hats and the cups that she chose for "the four kids" as they just didn't fit to me at all, but after her reaction when she saw they had been removed from the table, I realized it was about her process of creativity and that I needed to leave them -- it was Krista's party and she definitely didn't care. I smiled about how grown up my four year old is and how opinionated too -- usually, I don't smile about that but in this case, it was different because it wasn't a matter of obedience.

Kayla and I making the cake. We made a yellow cake with caramel frosting. Yum! I have definitely gotten more laid back about how it makes triple the mess when I have helpers.


Kayla making cut out finger jello: hearts, butterflies, and flowers. Berry blue and grape -- sent to us by one of our supporting churches. What a treat! The girls absolutely loved it! It was the hit of the menu for Krista for sure, even slightly more than the cake it seemed. We had slightly cheesy sloppy joes (cheese is expensive out here so all the missionaries understood and we all enjoyed the slightly cheesy taste), mashed potatoes, carrots and cucumbers and ranch dip, fruit salad (pineapple, bananas, and mandarin oranges mixture-- the mandarin oranges obviously from the States), sweet tea, Djino (fruit soda), Coke, and last but not least the finger jello. Krista was sucking down the Djino very quickly too -- she hardly ever gets that treat!

A little fishing game with the other two "kids" who came and Curious George DVD action while we were finishing up in the kitchen.

Family pic attempt before we ate (and it got dark). Two looking one way and two looking another way. We have a hard time getting a good family picture these days.

Family picture with #5 included. Baby bump at 19 weeks -- still not "oh she's pregnant" cute but definitely a growing thickness and weight distribution going on. I think that was my last time to wear those jeans for awhile. I usually don't wear jeans here except for at "American" events so I put them on for the party for the first time since I had been in the States in August -- apparently, you can't gain 9 pounds and expect your clothes to fit the same -- imagine that! (Oh, and the plan is to try to find out the gender on Friday when I will be 20 weeks).


Our end of the table.

Dan drew Curious George on Krista's cake -- I have no cake decorating skills so yay for me that Dan will jump in here. Krista loves Curious George! Good job, Daddy! And no messy frosting face this year for the birthday girl -- so grown up but kinda' sad.

Tante (Aunty) Jane. She is with ABWE, and their team has been helping out at our church while our co-workers are on furlough. She is fluent in French and has put so much time, energy, and care into starting up a women's ministry at the church -- taking care of the women in ways I never could with my level of French. She has been a huge encouragement to us as new missionaries, and she has come over on a Saturday a few times to play with the girls which is so sweet.

Tante Sandy. She flew back to Cameroon on the same flights as us in August, and we got to know her on those long flights. She works at the SIL Christian school here, and we are hoping to get to know her more over the next months. She took to the girls right away which was very special to me. It's also special to her as she misses her family in the States.

"Tante" Karen and Uncle Dave. They are the other part of the ABWE team, and they are learning French right now and helping us with our church while our co-workers are gone. Dave has taken several care of several details "things" that Dan doesn't have to worry about which has been nice. They are lots of fun and an encouragement to us as well. And they also took to the girls right away and our very thoughtful with them.

Dave and Karen's son Zachary.

Dave and Karen's son AJ. Both AJ and Zac are great with the girls. It takes Krista a little bit to warm up with them and Uncle Dave even though we see them every week, but that's normal for our Krista. Just like Kayla was at that age, she isn't a huge fan of men which I guess isn't all bad... her dad and I just know it won't last until age 30 like we would prefer.

Kayla cutting down the decorations (that girl LOVES using scissors).

And Kayla redecorating the living room/dining room for the fun of it. Here is one example of her re-decorations :-) She also had them draped on the living room chairs, on the windows, on the coffee table, etc.

Krista, it's been a great two years. I am so glad I'm your mommy. I love you so much.

Happy 2nd Birthday, dear Krista!

My baby turned TWO on October 28! I felt so sentimental all week about Krista growing up so quickly. The last two years have flown by soooooo quickly! Despite being two, she's still my baby... at least for a few more months. :-)

Krista Joy, I love you so much, and you bring us so much joy! I'm so glad you're in our family.

Here are some pictures from the last month.



It's so hard to get a good picture of Krista. She is so silly and funny and smiley until someone not in our family is around or until we pull the camera out. We are happy when she'll actually look at the camera and in this case even give a pleasant expression.
Another good picture -- woo-hoo! It's so funny because it's cute, but it doesn't show her full of life personality.
This was a meltdown brought on only because we pulled out the camera and asked her to stand against the closet door. I guess if I wanted personality in a picture, I got it! I just had to include this picture because it is so the stage we've been in with the camera for the last couple of months.

Krista's response to "Dry up those tears, young lady. None of that (manipulation) at this house." I didn't care about the picture at this point because there was no good mood happening, but I couldn't let her win. Sigh... Isn't she still adorable, though?

Krista loves, loves, loves drawing and coloring. She thinks she's as big stuff as Kayla. Almost every time Kayla goes to the table to write her letters or color, Krista is right behind her. And now that Kayla is at school in the day, Krista will ask me to color even when Kayla's not there. It's funny to see such an active child sit for 30 minutes and draw circles -- her very favorite thing to draw. I love how her mouth shows such concentration.

Krista has gone through withdrawal in the last couple of weeks -- withdrawal from cuddle time with Mommy now that my "morning" sickness is gone. We spent many hours for about 3 months in this very position. She would lie next to me for 20 minutes and then run off and play and then she's be back for another 20 minutes often with books for me to read to her and then she'd run off to play again. If I already had a book and was reading on the couch, she would bring one of her own and flip through it and we would "read together." We would watch French cartoons while we cuddled, and we sang songs while we cuddled. This was definitely one of the blessings of being so miserable that I laid around a lot! Seriously, though, Krista went through withdrawal. The week I started feeling better, I'd be in the kitchen or mopping the floor or whatever and Krista would take my hand and say, "Mommy. Come. Couch. Cuddle." And if I told her to wait until I got done with what I was doing, her precious, hopeful face turned to a crushed face of disappointment (yep, lots of drama with both of my redheads). So now, we are replacing the majority of the couch cuddle time with mommy helper time. She loves, loves, loves to be my helper especially when Kayla's not here to be better and faster than her at everything I need help with.

Krista also lives "ticks" (soft touches back and forth on her skin). She used to prefer them on her back, but lately, she prefers them on her feet. And Daddy gets the request the most often. On this day, Daddy was studying, and climbed up on the bed and said "Oh, Daddy. Teeks ("ticks") please." This melts Daddy's heart.

The girls each got a My Little Pony at a recent missionary yard sale which they have both enjoyed playing with. Daddy built this Lincoln Log stable for them, and all was smiles for awhile. But then Krista knocked something over and wasn't playing the way Kayla thought would be most fun... and well, you can imagine the rest... The girls do have lots of fun together, and I love to see and hear them play and laugh together. However, things can escalate to frustration for both of them (and thus Dan and I) quickly. Krista may be half the age of Kayla, but she doesn't back down one bit. Nope, not our Krista.

Couldn't get her to smile for me -- I tried to talk it up that it was her very own special day, her birthday; but truthfully, I was much more excited about it than her (for that matter, Dan, Kayla, and I all enjoyed it more than her -- I think she thought we were pretty silly for all our goings-on and singing and such).

Finally coaxed this smile out of her. Not natural -- just a "Mom said I can have lunch after I smile for the camera" picture.

Her birthday was on a Wednesday so D and her niece E came to babysit while I went to Bible study. Because Kayla was at school during the day, and then the afternoon and evening was minstry stuff, we had a party for Krista on Saturday. E, Kayla, and Krista helped me make a cake for the four of them to eat while Dan and I were at Bible study. There was an interesting African moment involved in the cake making -- I'll have to blog about it another time. The little girls loved making the cake and of course eating it too. I wanted a nice picture of the four of them, but I could tell Krista was not in the mood so I avoided starting a battle that I would end up having to follow through to the end and just snapped a quick picture before I ran out the door.

Now this picture shows my Krista's personality. She is such a tease, and she loves to play rough with Dad. Both of the girls do (and so does Dad).

Another picture that captures Krista's personality! I absolutely love this picture; it shows her sweet side. I have seen this expression so many times, but if she was looking at the camera, I would never get it. What a gift to get it when she wasn't looking!

This one shows her silly side -- again, had to catch it when she wasn't looking.

The poses we tried to get of them together -- didn't turn out well. This one was not posed, and it was so cute. Funny how that works. :-)

Caught her in the middle of saying something -- not surprising. This girl loves to talk! She may have gotten a "late" start, but she's sure making up for it. And she's mixed in a handful of French words this last month too which is so adorable. I'll have to post on that when I can remember what they all are.

We're all wearing the same color -- gotta' get a picture.

Having fun with Daddy at the SIL (for their high school) fundraiser dinner.

The fundraiser had a Scottish theme, and Krista ended up with a tam on her head at one point. It was a fun night to get away from our routine and into the English speaking world for an evening. :-)

For those of you who aren't picture-exhausted, there will be another post coming from Krista's birthday party. For you who've had enough, skip the next post when it comes through.

Laundry Story #1

During rainy season, we get lots of rain. I mean, it can rain hours in a row and sometimes several times a day. It doesn't rain that much every day, but there's just no way to guess which can make it interesting in getting laundry dry. So far, though, in the 14 months we've been here, I've never had to use my dryer because it rained too much for too many days in a row. There's always been some sort of window for line drying.

(Yes, I have a dryer. We bought it when we first arrived, and if we had it to do again, we wouldn't have bought it. Electricity is so expensive so it's not worth it to run it despite already having invested in buying one. Sigh... live and learn. But since I do have a dryer, I take advantage of using it for five minutes for my hang up clothes before I hang them on the line -- then I don't have to iron...for the most part!).

Usually, I'll go ahead and hang up my clothes even if the sky is cloudy unless it looks really threatening. Then, when it starts raining, I run out (run is accurate because the rains can come on fast and hard) and pull the clothes down and then put them back up when the rain stops. That is unless they are dry enough that I can just hang them around the house for the last drying.

I have noticed several times when I was out and it was raining that there were clothes still on the clotheslines in the neighborhoods. I always wondered why. Now, I have seen people pulling their clothes in before, but just as often, I have seen clothes remain on the clotheslines or whether they were hanging. One time, we were with our French tutor, and it started raining. I saw his clothes out on the clothesline with some of his neighbors clothes too. I reminded him about his clothes being out there and the rain starting, and he basically said, "They're fine. They're not dry yet so I'll just leave them and then after the rain is done, they'll dry." No one else came for their clothes either. I just wasn't sure about this method. It seemed so strange to me to leave them out their to get soaking wet -- I mean at least before they had been wrung out but hey, apparently it works for them. And of course I realized that living in one room would make it very difficult to hang them up inside.

Well, last week, preggo brain hit! I was in the kitchen working, and the rain started. I continued working and then about 10 minutes later, I realized I had clothes out on the clothesline. Of course by this point, there was no reason for me to go out in the pouring rain to get them. Despite the fact that they were probably all dry before the rain started, I actually smiled about my "African" adventure with the laundry. It rained for a couple hours, but by this time, it was 5:00 p.m. so they weren't going to get very dry that day. I didn't want to wring them out so I decided to leave them out all night. It started raining again around 8:00 p.m. -- oh well, they were already soaked. It probably rained six hours during the night -- but again, it's not like they could get any wetter so no harm done. When I got up to go to the bathroom in the night and heard the rain, I was smiling about my laundry. I know it's silly but hey it was a first time experience for me.

I'm not sure when it quit raining, but when I got up at 7:00, it was done raining. And we didn't get any rain that day until the evening so by 1:00 in the afternoon, my clothes which had been rained on for hours and hours the day and night before were completely dry just like they would've been if they had come right out of the washer all wrung out nicely. And no extra work for me getting them down quickly and then hanging them back up. :-)

God's Enablement In French During Prayer Time

As I mentioned in the last post, Dan and I go to Wednesday evening Bible study and prayer time while the girls stay home with a babysitter. I can get so much more involved in what's going on which is great on many levels, but last week, I ended up way more in the middle of things than normal.

Dan has been doing a series on prayer for the last couple of months, and we are now going into a time where the Bible study time has been shortened to extend the time we actually spend together in prayer. Last week, we divided into groups of four and used the ACTS (adoration, confession -- individually/silently, thanksgiving, and supplication) system. As we moved our chairs into groups of four, I found myself in a group with three other women. One woman just started coming to our church a couple of weeks ago, but she must has church background because she was comfortable with group praying and it seemed she has a relationship with God by how she spoke to Him. One woman doesn't come on Wednesdays too often although she is very faithful on Sundays; I would've asked her to lead our group but she wasn't familiar with the ACTS system that we were using that night as she hadn't been there the week Dan talked about it. The other woman I had been in a group with a couple of weeks earlier, and she was uncomfortable praying out loud -- maybe her first time I'm not sure -- so she couldn't lead our group. I hear myself asking out loud in French, "Who is going to direct our group?" They all answer right away that I am going to. Oh my!?!

Here's the deal. Our maverick way of going about French language learning because of our team scenario -- through immersion by living here, through having a tutor for eight months who speaks good French but who has never taught before so it was much more a conversational approach than an instructional approach, and through personal study -- has not given me a great foundation. Sure I can get along and have come a very long way from not speaking at all when we arrived here, but I still have a difficult time especially in scenarios where I need to catch everything that is being spoken and need to communicate well. Even Dan who is much farther than me since he was/is out and about so much more than me lacks important pieces of the French puzzle. (For now, we're ministering with what we have as this is how God has led, but we are looking into going to formal language school in the summer so that we can minister more effectively. For now, we are just thankful for the graciousness of the people here as they accept our communication for the content rather than how it's packaged.)

My comprehension is better than my speaking. I can understand things that people say that I would never know how to put together correctly or use those verb tenses or think of that vocab myself. However, because my comprehension is not 100%, in this prayer time scenario, I was much more concerned about my comprehension. I was going to sound like a child in leading the group through speaking, but I was "in control" of French not going beyond my level (obviously) as I spoke. Yes, there were going to be sentences that I started but never finished because I didn't know how in French -- but that would be okay. Yes, I would slip into English here and there as I was praying to complete my thought, but God understands all. My fear was the comprehension particularly when the ladies shared prayer requests because when people talk about important things to them (like prayer requests), understanding 75% of what they're saying is just not enough. I don't know if it is possible that I will get to go to formal language school since I will have a young baby and I don't need the same level of French as Dan because of his public speaking and working so closely with the church family, but it's times of people sharing burdens from their hearts that push me to pray that it will somehow work. These were thoughts that came to me as I was talking about our group's prayer time with Dan when we got home.

So...as these ladies chose me as the group leader of our prayer time, my mind was racing to think of how to structure our time. Of course, all my thoughts were in English which only helps so much because I don't know how to translate those thoughts and have to go much simpler. I explained an overview of the system of ACTS for the two who weren't familiar with it. Then, I very simply said, "First -- adoration. I will start, and we'll go around the circle each of you taking time to adore the Lord out loud if you want." I stumbled my way through adoring God in French, and then enjoyed listening to each of the women adore God in French -- it was beautiful. The last lady mumbled the whole time so I couldn't understand her, but I was very proud of her for being willing to pray in a group. I then told the ladies we would each spend time silently confessing our sin which is in such contrast to all the things we had just finished praying about our God, and I would finish this time by saying "Amen." We did that, and then we went on to thanksgiving, and we did it the same way as the adoration. Then came the time that I was dreading the most -- supplication. I asked each of the ladies for their prayer requests -- it was funny at first because I used a word that they weren't familiar with for requests but they figured out that I was talking about "sujets" (subjects) of prayer.

I praise the Lord for the enablement He gave me in comprehension during the prayer request sharing time. I understood more than I ever have before as people have given prayer requests. No, I didn't understand everything, but I understood enough that I felt confident as I expressed sympathy to them after they finished talking -- so much better than just nodding and saying "next." I started to feel a little panicky with the last lady because she had a complicated burden of her daughter's dad not wanting to help her financially anymore because her son from another man was now living with her and he didn't like that. But, the dad of the son is no longer living, and it seemed that the extended relatives he had been living with no longer could care for him. She has financial needs, and her job preparing and selling food on the side of the road wasn't paying enough to keep it going. There was a lot more to it, but at least I wasn't completely lost. I kept inching forward to be closer to people because they don't speak loud enough or enunciate well enough when they're talking about difficult things. Seriously, I "felt" the Lord with me as I was almost surprised to hear myself saying, " A, would you pray for J?" And then I recapped J's prayer request. "J, would you pray for N?" And then I recapped N's request. I will pray for N's request." "N, would you pray for my request?" And then I re-capped my request. "I will pray for A's request." I was surprised how quickly that half hour went by. Praise the Lord for what seemed like special enablement that night.

Just to give you another example of how heavy it is on my heart to learn more French because of the situations where people share things that are important to them and heavy on their hearts: I could give several because it has happened so many times, and I have wanted to cry that I couldn't minister in the way they needed as I wasn't even sure exactly what the scenario was. This example is fresh on my mind because it happened last Sunday. After church, I asked the lady next to me how she was doing. She gave the standard, "Good." I pressed a little farther asking about her health because I knew that her boyfriend had the cold/flu stuff that is going around. She said that she didn't have the cold/flu, and then after hesitating, she lowered her head and her voice and said what came across to me literally as something about "a heavy emotion." I leaned forward as I realized she had a heavy heart about something and that had been affecting her she said. It was terrible because I probably only understood about 20 % of what she was saying -- she was talking quickly and quietly. My heart sunk as I realized a few words that I did understand were "loss" and "pregnancy." I hated to assume she had a miscarriage with such a low comprehension rate, but as she stopped talking and looked at me with very sad eyes, I reached out and touched her hand and told her I was so sorry. I asked her when it was and whatever she was talking about was three months ago. I then decided to take the plunge and not be so general even at the risk of causing a ton of confusion at a time where she needed comfort. I asked her if this was the first time and she said yes. I tried to ask her how far along she had been, but I stopped because I didn't know how to ask it -- I realized literal translation was not going to work. I again told her how sorry I was and that even when it happens when the baby is so tiny (she had never looked pregnant so it had to have been an early miscarriage -- that is if I was making a good assumption that it was even about a miscarriage), it's still a baby and a death and the grief is great. She nodded and said something along the same lines as when she started about the "heavy emotion." I told her I would pray for her this week before we parted ways (I should've prayed with her then but I wasn't thinking straight as I was so frustrated by my low level of comprehension).

As Dan and I talked about it later that day, I told him that while my main ministry is at home, I do have a need for more French. Like I said earlier, we are very busy right now with our co-workers being gone and it's not the time to focus on French studies. After our co-workers return in January, we are going to figure out what the best plan is for us to improve our French as that is what we are serving the Lord in right now. People need to know how much we care, and they can't know if I/we don't understand what they share with us.

I guess I ended this on a down note... didn't start out with that intention for sure. Even as I share the difficulties of how far we still have to go in French, I have to praise the Lord again for the enablement He has given us... and for me specifically, the enablement He gave me last Wednesday evening.